You can’t ignore the signs that your mom needs help. Her house is cluttered and dirty. Laundry’s piled up and her mail hasn’t been touched in weeks. You want to help, but she won’t have it. No matter what you do, she argues that she’s fine on her own and you need to butt out. What do you do?
Remember That They’re Adults
You can’t push your mom any harder than you would want someone pushing you. Be sure that you respect her wishes and need to be independent. Instead of going into the situation trying to “parent” your parent, ask for her input. Ask her if there are things she’s sick of doing and wouldn’t it be nice to have a helper for those less desirable tasks.
Get Her Interested By Taking the Lead
You could try to convince her using this trick. Talk about how work and raising your kids have worn you out. Tell her all about the new helper you hired to clean your home. Talk about how great it is to not have to fit that into an already busy day. She may become so intrigued by the things that you say that she asks how she can get that same service.
Once she’s interested, ask her what she’d want most. She doesn’t need to know the services you’re talking about are part of senior care. She may be willing if she thinks she’s getting a personal chef and housekeeper to help out.
Weigh the Risks vs. Frustration
How important is it that she accepts your help with certain tasks? If she’s not taking important medications, that is a problem. Her health is more important than her frustration with you. But, forcing her to accept your help with brushing and styling her hair isn’t worth making her angry. Messy hair is unlikely to pose a health risk.
Enlist the Help of Others
Bring in someone she’s less likely to argue with. Have her religious leader or doctor approach her about her changing needs and benefits of care services. If she has a friend who has a caregiver, that friend’s experiences can help convince your mom senior care services will be rewarding.
Don’t Try to Force Her
Respect your mom’s wishes. She may not want you being her caregiver. That doesn’t mean she’s not open to the idea of having companionship services from a senior care agency. As she gets to know her caregiver, other services can be added. Make your visits with her fun and stress-free by letting others handle the types of senior care services she most needs.
If you or an aging loved one are in need of Senior Care Services in Massapequa NY or the surrounding areas, contact the caring professionals at Star Multi Care Services today at (631)956-8835. We are the Right Choice for Home Health Care Services!
From 1978 to 1986, Sternbach was associated with Automated Data Processing, Inc. (“ADP”)–a provider of information services, where he held several marketing positions before becoming the Director of Sales.
1999-2008 Sternbach was an active participant on the Board of Directors for Proginet–a computer software company based in Garden City, New York. He also served on the Board of Trustees of the Long Island Chapter of the National Multiple Sclerosis Society from 1996-2002.
In 1996, Stephen Sternbach was named “Entrepreneur of the Year” by Ernst & Young, Paine Webber and NASDAQ. Sternbach was also named in Crain’s New York Business Article, “40 Under 40” Successful Business Executives/Future Business Leaders in 1995. While maintaining a diversity of business and personal interests, Sternbach concentrated most of his efforts over the past 28 years towards continuously improving the quality of services delivered by the Star Multi Care Services’ family of companies.
Stephen Sternbach holds a Master of Public Administration from Syracuse University – Maxwell School of Public Administration and a Bachelor of Arts in Industrial Relations and Personnel Administration from Ithaca College.
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