Coping When Your Parent’s Choice for Cancer Treatment is No Treatment At All

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Finding out that your aging loved one has cancer is a life-changing moment for both your parent and for you. As their adult child you are dealing with the painful emotions of thinking about whatElder-Care-in-Huntington-NY your loved one is going to have to go through during this journey and what you might face as your parent suffers. As their family caregiver you are concerned about making sure that they are taking care of their health and getting the management and treatment that they need in order to deal with their cancer and continue living their aging years in the best way possible. What happens, however, if living their aging years the best way possible, in their mind, means not pursuing cancer treatment at all?

One of the first things that your aging parent must decide when they receive a diagnosis of cancer is what type of treatment they will be pursuing. The earlier that this decision is made, the better the chances of success from this treatment. While if you were the one who had received a cancer diagnosis you might immediately start comparing the options and devising the treatment approach that you think is right for your situation. Many seniors, however, do not feel that there is any true benefit to seeking treatment for their cancer and will make this their personal decision.

While your loved one may feel confident that they are making the right choice when they decide that they do not want to pursue any type of treatment for their cancer, you might have a more difficult time with this decision. The thought that they are going to do “nothing” about this situation can be upsetting and you might struggle with the choice and its potential consequences. Working through this situation and coming to terms with it is an important step in being the best caregiver that you can be for your parent and to protect and preserve your relationship with your aging loved one.

 

Use these tips to help you cope when your parent’s choice for cancer treatment is no treatment at all:

  • Take some time. Hearing that your loved one is not going to pursue any type of treatment for their cancer can be shocking at first. Give yourself some time to really think about the situation and come to terms with your emotions, or at least calm down, before you talk to your parent. This can help to prevent a confrontation that will be upsetting for everyone.
  • Remember this is about them. Just like the diagnosis is about your parent, so is the treatment decision. Your loved one is the one who is dealing with this condition, so they should be the one that is making the decisions about their care and treatment. Being their family caregiver does not make the future of their care something that is yours to decide.
  • Offer your support. Even if you are feeling upset, confused, shocked, or even angry about your parent’s decision, be supportive. Showing that you love your parent and that you respect them and their decisions will help your parent to feel empowered and encouraged. Seeing the relief and happiness that this provides can help you come around and start to focus more on what really matters.
  • Consider senior care. Simply because your parent is not pursuing treatment does not mean that your loved one does not need care. Suggest hiring a senior home care services provider so that your loved one can get the support, encouragement, and physical care that they need now and as they move further into their later years. This will help you to know that they are going to be able to live the highest quality of life possible as they age in place.

 

If you or an aging loved one are in need of elder care in Huntington, NY or the surrounding areas, contact the caring professionals at Star Multi Care Services today at (631)956-8835. We are the Right Choice for Home Health Care Services!

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Stephen Sternbach

Chief Executive Officer at Star Multi Care Services
Stephen Sternbach has been the Chairman of the Board of Directors, President, and Chief Executive Officer of Star Multi Care Services since 1987. After the sale of the New York and New Jersey operations of Star Multi Care Services, Sternbach brought the company private where he remains President and CEO of this newly developed $22M home healthcare company. With Sternbach at the helm, Star Multi Care Services employs more than 550 employees, in six offices throughout Florida, Pennsylvania, Ohio and New York.

From 1978 to 1986, Sternbach was associated with Automated Data Processing, Inc. (“ADP”)–a provider of information services, where he held several marketing positions before becoming the Director of Sales.

1999-2008 Sternbach was an active participant on the Board of Directors for Proginet–a computer software company based in Garden City, New York. He also served on the Board of Trustees of the Long Island Chapter of the National Multiple Sclerosis Society from 1996-2002.

In 1996, Stephen Sternbach was named “Entrepreneur of the Year” by Ernst & Young, Paine Webber and NASDAQ. Sternbach was also named in Crain’s New York Business Article, “40 Under 40” Successful Business Executives/Future Business Leaders in 1995. While maintaining a diversity of business and personal interests, Sternbach concentrated most of his efforts over the past 28 years towards continuously improving the quality of services delivered by the Star Multi Care Services’ family of companies.

Stephen Sternbach holds a Master of Public Administration from Syracuse University – Maxwell School of Public Administration and a Bachelor of Arts in Industrial Relations and Personnel Administration from Ithaca College.
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About the author: Stephen Sternbach
Stephen Sternbach has been the Chairman of the Board of Directors, President, and Chief Executive Officer of Star Multi Care Services since 1987. After the sale of the New York and New Jersey operations of Star Multi Care Services, Sternbach brought the company private where he remains President and CEO of this newly developed $22M home healthcare company. With Sternbach at the helm, Star Multi Care Services employs more than 550 employees, in six offices throughout Florida, Pennsylvania, Ohio and New York. From 1978 to 1986, Sternbach was associated with Automated Data Processing, Inc. (“ADP”)–a provider of information services, where he held several marketing positions before becoming the Director of Sales. 1999-2008 Sternbach was an active participant on the Board of Directors for Proginet–a computer software company based in Garden City, New York. He also served on the Board of Trustees of the Long Island Chapter of the National Multiple Sclerosis Society from 1996-2002. In 1996, Stephen Sternbach was named “Entrepreneur of the Year” by Ernst & Young, Paine Webber and NASDAQ. Sternbach was also named in Crain’s New York Business Article, “40 Under 40” Successful Business Executives/Future Business Leaders in 1995. While maintaining a diversity of business and personal interests, Sternbach concentrated most of his efforts over the past 28 years towards continuously improving the quality of services delivered by the Star Multi Care Services’ family of companies. Stephen Sternbach holds a Master of Public Administration from Syracuse University – Maxwell School of Public Administration and a Bachelor of Arts in Industrial Relations and Personnel Administration from Ithaca College.